Eh. Had one of those weeks where it feels like your brain is on a restart loop, so you have to cope by turning on autopilot and hoping nothing exciting happens until you can blink for a few times without feeling like you've fallen into an alternative dimension, or like your memory has been linked to a light switch that's being flicked on and off by an angry child trying to blow a fuse.
I know the vibes have been good. I just can't remember why. Or... anything, really.
Probably not that important in the long run. But still. Lil' frustrating.
Which is why I drew this.
I have to force myself to continue my train of thought often. Like pushing a train uphill by myself. And then my focus isn't focused on what I was thinking on, but is focused on focusing on focusing on thinking. And it gets tiring. And then I stop trying, and let my body travel without my brain. And I wake up to find myself doing something else two rooms from where I used to be; all a very smooth procedure, if you don't squint and analyze every little detail anyway. And it feels odd.
It even happens in the middle of talking to my family. I have to trust that the part of me that's still controlling my body can continue without me. Even if I can't remember what we were talking about. Or where we're going. Or why. Or when it will stop so I don't have to worry about forgetting to talk back. Or coming up with an answer to continue a conversation that I can't even remember being a part of.
My brain's always done this. It just feels like it's doing it a lot more than usual this week.
I miss thinking coherently.
No comments:
Post a Comment