Well if I'm going to be living during an apocalypse I might as well dress for the occassion

Right! So, after some reflection on everything that has been going on the past few weeks, I've come to the not-surprising conclusion that I am Burnt Out and having a slow Anxiety Attack which explains why I've felt the crushing weight of the universe on a few parts of my psyche lately!

Nothing has been set on fire yet, but the smoke is evident and I could use some more sleep, so I'll take that as all the data I need to conclude I should probably stop any unnecessary projects for a hot minute. Or all of them, depending how the rest of my night goes. XD 

Oh well! Gotta have my allotted "take a break from everything" holiday at least a few times a year, so now is as good a time as any. 

A small shame that I won't be able to draw more of the ideas I had until I stop feeling like vomited death that's also crying in a ditch somewhere in northeast California, but I guess I'll just save them for later.

Leap of Faith. Or Desperation.

 Missed last week's usual blog update because I was in Queensland! Again. XD

And I haven't eaten dinner yet so I can tell my brain is starving for sustenance, but that won't stop me from organizing this post and throwing it into the void with gay abandon so let's get going!

Comic page I finished last week and uploaded on tumblr this week. I think this had been my favorite panel to draw. It's definitely my favorite to look at, if nothing else!

Wake me up when October ends

First week of daylight savings is always the roughest, but while I haven't been getting a lot of literal sleep, I've at least been resting in a way that hasn't been possible for the last month and a bit.

Getting to stay at home for that little bit longer has been nice. I miss mum, but at least not constantly traveling to different states every week means I can recharge my batteries a little better than I could've otherwise. 

 Sometimes sleeping isn't enough, though. I need to hibernate until things become slightly more bearable.
But drawing is the next best thing, which I am doing to the best of my ability.

Washing away the horror but (mostly blood)

 Whelp! October's here now. And while I hope this month won't be as hectic as September, we're not exactly off to a great start folks XD

However! I have finally been getting my edge in drawing back, so you know what? I'll take anything I can get. 

This is part of a rough comic project I made a few days ago, but I was pretty proud how this drawing turned out. For something I didn't entirely plan, I think it turned out okay!

Old Core Memory back from the dead

 First time in about a month I've been home on a Saturday! Still exhausted, but at least it's nice to be home for a while before whatever is about to happen... happens again. XD

But while the horrors outside my head might persist for a little longer, I've at least got some horrors inside my head to entertain me too. 

Probably not orthodox, but getting back into my zombie obsession from my tweenhood-teenhood has been a good way to deal with burnout and exhaustion. Not sure how long this is going to keep me interested, but for now it's all I could need.
Would be cool if I ever wrote a proper story about this trope though, because I know I'd have a lot of fun with it.

Attained: Memories of Gold Coast

 *Dramatic swig of apple juice before thunking it down on a wooden table*

So.

It's been a long, very long, long and rough couple of weeks lately. Pretty much every weekend since my last blog update we've been traveling back and forth across states. Which is obviously very tiring, and between that and not having access to my drawing tablet on the days where I'd usually be drawing the most, that means I haven't had the energy to post on my blog lately.

Which is fine! Some times of life will be like that, and I'm glad I'm not obsessive enough to think not posting my weekly artwork means I'm a bad person.  But still! For the first time in a while, I've had the spoons to think about doing this, so let's do this and do this in style:

Normally I'm the kind of person who doesn't take pictures of anything, preferring to let my memory and emotions do the work of photos. But after that one experiment I did a few months ago, I've been on the lookout for opportunities to do something like that again. And I figured "why not this?" as a way to make sure I had some positive memories mixed with all the exhausting ones. And a fun creative project too, of course! XD

And even if today has been the first real Sabbath that we've gotten to slow down and relax in (despite still being in the Gold Coast) I'm hoping next week will go smoother than the last few weeks. But only one way to find out, I guess! 

Who needs the sun when you could stand next to someone with a really bright disposition?

 Considered not making a post this week because I was tired and figured I hadn't drawn anything really interesting. Then remembered this blog is as much a record of my shenanigans outside of drawing, even if it's primarily a visual reference for how much my skills have improved over the years.

Anyway! I'm far from home this weekend, and despite all attempts upon my sanity I am still kicking. Wooh! 

It's not everyday you take a drive to a different state to spend time with your mother at a different public hospital, that's for sure XD

"Any brighter than that and you could see it from space-"

 *stares into the void, sipping an apple cider through a long twisting straw*

Well!

Wasn't expecting to get hyper-fixated on a new OG idea, but then again... am I ever? 

I've had a long week, but at least we got glowing vampires showing their new travel partner what happens when a bunch of people are scared of the dark and decide that best way to fix that problem was to build the biggest eyesore for miles around XD

Breaktime

 Okay!

NOW ArtFight is over! Now I can put down my pen, fall backwards and give myself a well deserved rest after a month's long grind to balance quantity with quality.

It was a good fight! But I'm completely done now, so here. Take this sketch and let me go back to bed-

-where I'm going to brainstorm some new ideas and make some concept art for it.

I'll also play video games too, don't worry! But what else was I gonna do on a Saturday night? XD 

Vision restored! Rejoice!

 *Radio crackle* WE INTERRUPT YOUR USUAL WEEKLY BLOG UPDATE WITH A SPECIAL ANNOUNCEMENT:

VISION HAS BEEN RESTORED! I REPEAT, VISION HAS BEEN RESTORED!!! 

Seriously tho, it's nice to have a new pair of glasses that helps me see beyond my immediate vicinity XD And pair that with my new pen (for my drawing tablet) I can now see better and draw without fighting for control every second or third stroke!

So now all I have left to do is draw two more attacks, and then I can officially collapse and retire from ArtFight! Here's hoping my crash landing is at least a little more graceful than last year! XD  

Inside Out sketches

 Right! Halfway through the month, and I've made 16 attacks on ArtFight so far. My goal is to make 30 attacks this year, but even if I don't quite make it, I'm pretty pleased with all of the stuff I've drawn so far.

I've had to take a few days off to make sure I didn't burn out (too badly), but I'm hoping to get the momentum to make more art next week :3 

Gotta make sure to give myself time to draw personal stuff, too. Need to give myself treats too! At least a few times during the week! XD

Bored out of our minds

 Well! First few day of ArtFight has gone well for me! Started with a scheduled power outage that meant I couldn't use my tablet for the half the day, and then on Friday I got a flu shot so meant my body had some fun things to deal with while I desperately tried to finish my first attack.

You know! Just typical starting line stuff hurdles. XD

Jokes aside tho, I'm pretty happy with how my first drawing went, and I think it's one of the biggest pieces I've ever made for ArtFight (so far) 

 A collection of Ennui's! There's been a small surge of people adding their Inside Out sonas onto ArtFight, and since that timed perfectly with my own IO obsession coming back, I figured I might as well do something with it.

We'll see what else I draw during the month, but I'd say I am pretty excited to see what I do next! 

The place where we played

 Okay, so this week didn't pan out how I expected it to. But once I realized that I wasn't having a really bad case of anxiety but instead having a minor anxiety attack WHILE being sick, I cheered up significantly and readjusted my expectations for what I could do in accordance to that.

I've spent most of my week being either too tired and sick to play games, and then being too tired and sick to draw (but enjoying video games, thankfully) and yesterday I stared into space like "I want to draw. I don't want to play video games for 4-5 hours in the afternoon anymore. But I'm still not feeling good enough to 'make' anything new..."

But I found something to keep my hand busy and to get my confidence back, even if it was a little unorthodox. :3

Before we moved to our new house, I was doing some kind of... arty-3-month online uni course or something. I remember it stressing me to hell and back, because I had never done anything like this before and I was unused to the idea of working with a LOT of things I had never tried before (like making paper collages and working with charcoal and paint and stuff) but one of the things I remember having to do was take some pictures for "inspiration" for the assignments we were given.

Long story short, I collected as many of those pictures I took for my uni assignments and just... thought it would be fun to draw over the top of one of them, in an effort to recreate some childhood vibes.
I played on that brick wall a lot. I banged rocks into dust under the shade and made games with chalk on the driveway and scratched shapes onto the wall and watched ants go about their anty business.

I wish I had taken more pictures of the house. But at least I have this one to keep close to myself now. 

Panic! And Boredom! At the Disco!

 Once again getting inspired by a song and using it as a springboard for some good old fashioned creativity! Because as if ONCE wasn't enough this week. XD

Social anxiety has never sounded so boppy before XD 

"I'm trying to accurately depict an anxiety attack and you're not helping"

Funny thing happened on the way to getting up on an average Tuesday morning and having no idea what I was going to draw, but knowing I wanted it to engage me on at least two different vectors.

Also funny thing happened when I was browsing through what kind of song to listen to while I warmed up my hand for drawing said nebulous and engaging thing.

Turns out one triggered the other and I haven't been able to stop drawing about a comic about Anxiety's average day, but to the lyrics of a song I already liked but it'll be imprinted in my brain forevermore after it's over!

Such is the way of inspiration, as always. XD

Sleeping on the job

Okay

So maybe saying to myself "you know what I should do this week? Rewrite 9 character bios for ArtFight within a week, AND write up 8 brief descriptions for the relationship every character has with EVERYBODY ELSE" was maybe a little ambitious.

And maybe I should've have been surprised when I felt like death before the week was out. XD

But all things considered, I'm happy with the progress I've made so far! And I've done more than half the work, so with any luck I'll get the rest finished well before July hits! 

In the meantime tho, I'm following Ennui's lead and I'm going to crash out. With any luck I won't wake up until a thousand years has passed XD

Finding our Routes

Another week officially done and dusted. Minecraft is still inspiring me to draw a lot of stuff, and I've made a lot of progress (in the game) since last week. Documenting all the shenanigans I've done is taking time, but at least it gives me a good list of options to draw should I need the inspiration.

However, I am also busy redrawing all of my Inside Out character sheets (which I made in 2023, I think?) so it's been tricky balancing all the things I want to do at once. But I haven't burnt out yet, so I suppose I've been doing a good job making sure my plate isn't too full everyday!

 

  

 I think this is one of the favorite things I've drawn this week, though. Really proud of how the map turned out, and the lighting feels exactly how I wanted it. Can't wait to find more excuses to draw maps :3

Mapping our World

 Ha! Well, it's that time again folks! A time where the fourth day of April lands on a Saturday.
It's happened once already - 2020, I believe and fact checked! - and now it's happened again.

On the one hand? I've felt a year older since January/February, so like. Officially reaching 24 years of life is like *shrug* "yeah, I know. No big deal." And on the other hand...? Well, it's just funny because I'm glad I've reached to the point where having another birthday isn't sending me into bad spiral anymore.

In fact, I'm almost looking forward to seeing what kind of shenanigans I can cram into my life until the next birthday happens!

But anyway- enough introspection and musings. Here's this week's art showcase from yours truly! 

Last week I bit one bullet (I had many bullets to choose from) and decided to try playing Minecraft again. And it's been inspiring me to draw again! I was kinda going through a writing phase during March, being more interested and motivated to write instead of draw... but it feels good to wake up in the morning and feeling excited about art again.

... also it feels good to wake up in the morning and get excited about playing Minecraft like a kid again. Except this time I'm being an Adult(TM) about it XD  

So yeah! Let's see where this year takes us. I'm planning to celebrate my birthday properly when my twin gets to come home from studying, but until then let the Emotional times roll!

Whether the Weathers

 March coming to a close feels like a small ripoff, but since I've already started thinking of myself as a year older (even before our birthday has happened) I think that balances things somewhat.

Maybe not a satisfying balance, but a balance nevertheless! We'll take what we can get. 

 

Whatever the next few weeks brings us though, may we get through it all as best we can. 

What do you see (when you look in the mirror)

Currently feeling like a horse stuck on a broken carousal, because my inner-ears are going through the wringer for bizarre reasons

But lo and behold! Art!!

Made this at the beginning of the week because I saw some cool pictures of broken mirrors and reflections. Figured it would be good practice and good fun, and I was right